Can you believe it?
Tonight as I sat on my couch binging Netflix documentaries, I realized it was pay day(been a little drugged the last 24 hours lol)and I hadn’t paid the bills yet!oops! Then I checked the date AND I was like Wow! January is OVER!!!!
What the heck I thought to myself! I can’t it’s over and we’re headed into February; the month of LOVE ❤️
So the good news is I got my bills paid for another week.
MY WORD for 2020
So, a month ago I was sitting at home chilling with the hubby & I remember the word; ACCEPTANCE rang so loud in my mind. I knew right away it was my WORD for 2020!
Acceptance is not often a good word in my vocabulary simply for the fact that I don’t like accepting many things unless of course they are good and beneficial for me.
However, it did make sense that that word would come to mind as I reflected over 2019 and realized that there were things I had to accept deep down in my personal life like never before. I had to accept the fact looking back that my marriage was not the “fairy tale story” I had anticipated as a little girl.
I also had to accept that at 47 my body and mind were going through some crazy hormonal changes as I entered into perimenopause.
I think the biggest battle in my mind was accepting the fact that my three sons were growing up and not needing me as much as they used too, especially the oldest my 18 year old. ￼
These things may sound trivial but until you reach your late 40’s your still pretty naive about life, it’s the monumental landslide of 50 just around the corner that makes you reflect more than ever as you realize and “accept” that you have already lived more than half your life.
Looking back and reflecting made me realize that I actually should be proud of myself to be in this place of ACCEPTANCE now, it took a year for me to get there and I’m finally here.
I’ve accepted with an open heart that LIFE no matter good or bad times cause us to grow & develop into who we are today and on January 31st, 2019 I celebrated the fact that I had overcome a lot of self doubt, sentimental, sometimes depressing days of wishing my sons were little children again who ran to hug me and give me kisses, questioning if I’ve been the best mom I could be, etc etc and the acceptance of aging with grace.
And lo and behold I ACCEPTED that life has seasons and life goes on and that I am a better person each year, so yes as hard as acceptance can be of certain circumstances in our lives, in the end, when we take a long look at what surrounds us and lives in our hearts, we realize that acceptance isn’t a bad word, it’s word of growth, learning, maturity and a whole lot of GRACE!