Letting Pain – Propel you to YOUR Purpose

Why?

Have you ever asked yourself, “why have I gone through all this pain in my life?” It’s a question I have often asked myself over the years, probably since I was a child if I were to be honest.

PAIN is something we all experience, it may be different experiences with different degrees of pain, however, pain is pain & the bigger picture is to figure out the why so that we can begin to live our lives to its fullest potential and stop letting our past pain control so much of our future.

The Source of our Pain

Growing up I spent much of my life grounded and confined to my room. If I had to break it down by percentage I would say between the ages of 4-13, I spent approximately 70% of my time alone, isolated and feeling rejected.

For years I often wondered to myself what I had done to deserve such isolation & what made me such a nuisance to my family. To this day I still haven’t figured it out and out of respect for my parents I won’t assume anything.

That isolation however over the years came with several side effects including social phobias, anxiety, low self-esteem and the need to be seen and heard in destructive patterns later on in life leading to promiscuity, alcohol abuse, & self-identity issues as a teen as well as into adulthood, affecting life long decisions in regards to careers, marriage & other relationships.

Heavy Baggage

It’s easy for anyone to sit back and say to themselves, wow, I have a lot of baggage I’m carrying from my life. For some it can be heavy as early as their first 5 years of life as a child to be carrying an insurmountable load of baggage sadly.

So how do we accept our pain for what it is & move forward from the pain of the past to live our best life? the biggest question to ask ourselves is; who do we become because of it? Well, this is where the word PROPEL comes into my post today. This morning as I was meditating on who I’ve become over the years, I thought of three words; PAIN -PROPEL & PURPOSE. I believe I have finally come to the resolution & the acceptance of my pain being the propeller to my purpose in this life.

Letting Go!

From the beginning of time, pain was a part of the human race. It’s often hard for us to conceive that a loving God would allow destruction & pain to enter our world, however, freewill was the very first act of love God gave mankind. With that freedom man chose the path that led to pain & suffering for the course of the human race.

If I were to be honest I have pointed my finger at God for my pain and suffering at certain times in my life, even as recent as several months ago. Thankfully by His grace and mercy He is not affected by our wayward thoughts & feelings.

Through struggle, conflict, betrayal & rejection, I have chosen to meditate & pray my way through the pain of the past & I have taken much personal inventory over the last couple of years especially & I’ve decided to allow the pain in my life to propel me to my purpose.

Purpose in the Pain

Strength Just like gaining muscular strength by repetition & weight, painful experiences strengthens us. Pain will either help you find your strength or lose it.

Perseverance….the ability to endure the storms of life & not allow fear to over take your mind affecting how you handle tragedy & trials.

Maturity …pain will choose for us how quickly we mature or we also have the choice to revert & remain stunted in our development.

Wisdom…without pain we learn that we would never embrace hope or faith.

Humility …pain helps us to relate to others who are hurting. It keeps us from becoming unresponsive to the pain others suffer around us.

The Need for a Saviour….yes, pain will force us to our knees in search of God & putting our trust in the One who truly can save us and give us life! My darkest moments in life propelled me to find the light, the truth & the love of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

The Ultimate Purpose?

So what is my purpose?, the purpose from all the pain?, simply, it is to be like Jesus to the world. It is to love the “unlovable”, to feed the hungry, to be a living sacrifice in every area, to be a loving mom, to be a loving wife, a loving friend, a loving coworker, a loving stranger….etc.

You see, our pain identifies with the pain Jesus suffered for us. There was no greater pain and suffering than that which He experienced and for what?, all for us to be able to have a purpose in our pain in this life.

He knew we would suffer in, remember at the beginning of my post?, the “free will” He gave us was the ultimate factor in our fate all because He decided not to make us robots and force us to love Him. What kind of love would it be if we forced others to love us?

His purpose in His pain was to bring the world the gift of salvation & a hope that will live beyond our life here on this earth.

So I leave this with you today, do not let your pain lie dormant & useless. Do not allow it to make you bitter. Do not let it rob you of peace and joy.

Choose today to let your Pain Propel you to YOUR Purpose!

James 1:2-4, discover the purpose behind your pain. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”

If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ might I suggest saying this prayer below & opening your heart to the One who can teach you how to live a life of purpose despite the pain you have experienced.

Prayer,

Dear Jesus, I do not understand in this moment what I am doing or even saying but I trust by faith that you will hear these words and open my eyes of understanding and show yourself to me. I choose to allow you to become Lord over my life & even though I cannot see you or touch you, I choose to believe by faith that you are the way, the truth and the life and that no person comes to God the Father except through you.

Please forgive me of any sin that has separated me from you & make me clean this day. Renew my mind and spirit I pray.

I ask that you lead me to people of faith & that you will order my steps from this day forward.

I give you my pain and ask that you will make it my purpose in this life & that hope, faith and love will be my foundation form this moment forward.

I pray all these things in Jesus precious name! Amen!

If you prayed this prayer and would like to share with someone please feel free to contact me.

God truly loves you!

What is Happening?Hormones & Havoc

Have you ever asked yourself, how can I feel like a loving kind tender woman wanting to save the world to a raging bull wanting to rip the head off of the idiot who just cut you off the road?

Or, perhaps you went to bed at night in a bed dry as a Sahara Desert and woke up startled by the cold pool of water you happen to be laying in from sweating all night.

Then your watching your husband who is lying under your car doing the oil change for you and all of sudden you start having thoughts of tearing off his clothes and acting out a Harlequin romance novel, then 30 minutes later you feel like knocking him out for eating your last handful of potatoes chips.

Sound familiar?

Well, if any of this resonates with you, You may just be entering the stages of perimenopause. Some of these symptoms you may experience during your monthly cycle as well, however they will become more intense depending on you and your genetic make up.

Learn to Let Go!

I have to tell you that from someone who suffered from crazy PMS her whole life, it’s got nothing on perimenopause.

If your like me and like to be in control, you better learn now how to let go! Or you will find that peace will be a rare commodity in your home.

And just when you think all is well and nothing can push that psycho button(you know y’all have it), BOOM! someone or something comes out of no where and takes you for a ride.

There are many ways to handle the unexpected when your hormones and body are going through these changes. We can either let them take over our emotions and live by our feelings,( and drive everybody nuts around us, including ourselves) OR, we can learn to start reasoning with ourselves and take responsibility for our actions and do the things necessary to help us walk through this “next stage” of our lives.

Understand, I am smack dab in the middle of this season of my life right now and I feel your pain ladies, however, just letting every emotion take over our minds will only lead you into more frustration in the end which causes more stress and leaves us in a tailspin, worse off than when we started. Learn to have those inner conversations and when you do lose it, de-brief with yourself, forgive yourself and move on.

It’s Serious

So as much as I joke or lighten up the topic of perimenopause, there is a also a serious side to this stage of life for many women. It is no joke.

Because of the drop in estrogen many women can begin to experience depression, anxiety & other mental health problems that can seriously affect every area of their lives, including, career, family, friendships and an overall healthy lifestyle.

a few statistics ………

Nearly 40% of women have mood swings associated with hormonal changes—from feelings of rage to intense moodiness, anxiety and even crying spells. Studies show that the risk of depression doubles when women enter perimenopause; and if you’ve suffered from PMS or postpartum depression, you may be even more prone.

Men are not Psychiatrists

Ladies, the men or boys in your life DO NOT understand women when it comes to hormones and the changes we go through. It’s a fact. They may know some of the science behind it, however, they will NEVER truly “understand” because their bodies will never go through the same changes. We need to lighten up on our men and stop making them feel like they can’t measure up when they drop the ball. They are going to annoy you on the worst days and it’s NOT intentional.

At the same time, if any of you men are reading this, NEVER say out out loud, “it must be her hormones” OR “she must be PMS-ing,”, if you have ever had the misfortune of saying that around a woman who was truly having just a rough day, you might have felt a little of her wrath and rightly so.

My suggestion of sharpening your communication with the men in your life is too teach them. Share some research you have done and pick a time when they are not distracted, you know, not while they are watching sports or reading their favourite magazine.

Give them the facts only, that’s all they want and thats all they can handle(I mean that respectfully), men cannot retain the amount of gigabytes our brains do ladies. And, you will also have to remind them often.

Finding Relief

There is hope for us women to reduce the problematic symptoms we face.

One place to start and the one I highly recommend is your nutrition. Every thing that goes into your body affects your body either positively OR negatively. This is one thing we do have CONTROL over.

Food is medicine as they say and whatever your feeding your body is how your body and mind will respond to the hormonal changes.

Here are just a few things you can do starting now to prepare & to help alleviate some of the perimenopausal symptoms;

  • Eat healthy whole foods
  • Reduce sugar intake
  • Eat through out the day healthy snacks in between meals
  • Get enough sleep
  • Exercise
  • Socialize
  • Remind yourself the changes are normal, your not alone
  • Let your loved ones know when your not feeling well-COMMUNICATE
  • meditate
  • Take a deep breath when you feel overwhelmed and remove yourself from the situation – I call it Take 5
  • Do something you enjoy..painting, shopping, dining out etc
  • Read a book
  • Start a new hobby
  • REST!! listen to your body
  • Deep breathing
  • Listen to music

Many of these tips will help with PMS symptoms as well.

Remember ladies, we have faced puberty, marriage, child birth, and who knows what else, and we will get through this too!

Sunday Dinner – Creamy Mushroom Fettuccine

campus, spring, theta_pond, theta, pond, bench, morning, fountai

This past Sunday was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly, the air was crisp and I could smell from a distance the aroma of Apple Crisp, well, not really but it was a great day for it. So I ended up making just that, but I will upload that recipe later.

One thing about eating plant based meals is the amazing options for much of my favourite food before. For example, Creamy Mushroom Fettuccine is one of my personal favourites, I just omit the chicken now but feel free to add it to this recipe.

As a working mom with three teenage boys, I also need quick and nutritious meals to prepare so one other blessing about plant based which I didn’t even think of when making his transition was the time you save not cooking meats.

This recipe is a common one with many recipes in the web, this one however is plant based but feel free to personalize it your own way, that’s the best part about cooking, make it personal!

A couple of things first before I get to the recipe. Have you ever heard of “nutritional yeast”? I never did till I started cooking plant based. It is quiet the neat little additive to many ingredients for plant based or vegan/vegetarian meals.

I find this ingredient has a cheesy flavour to it and I love adding it to this recipe especially as you probably guessed or already know that plant based nutrition has no dairy. This is also a great supplement for B vitamins as it is loaded with them and B12 being a vitamin I don’t get from meat anymore, it’s perfect!

Click here to find out more about nutritional yeast and it’s any benefits and uses.

On with the recipe….

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Creamy Mushroom Fettuccine

Serves 4

Ingredients

  • 1 bag Rice Fettuccine, Rice Asian Noodles OR White Organic Fettucinne
  • 2 pkg mixed mushrooms(I prefer cremini and white button)
  • fresh thyme, rosemary, parsley

Sauce Ingredients

  • 1 medium onion
  • 2 tablespoons chopped JARRED garlic OR 4-5 fresh cloves garlic
  • 1/2 cup vegetable broth (low sodium)
  • 1 cup cashew milk
  • 1 tablespoon vegan butter (earth balance)
  • sea salt and ground pepper -add to your own taste
  • 1 1/2 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • 1/4 cup nutritional yeast

Directions

Add pasta to boiling water as directed. Cook while preparing sauce. Once cooked set aside.

How to make the sauce:

  1. In a large saucepan add vegan butter and melt over medium heat
  2. Add garlic & onion and mushrooms then sauté till onions and garlic are transparent-stirring frequently
  3. Add vegetable broth, sea salt, ground pepper, thyme and rosemary and continue to simmer for another 4-5 minutes
  4. Add cashew milk and bring to soft boil
  5. Then stir in nutritional yeast while sauce is boiling until it starts to thicken and then down heat on low.
  6. This part is where it’s hard for me to write out recipes because I will taste test several times to get the right flavour, you may want more salt , garlic, and pepper or you may want the sauce thicker. So experiment until it is perfect for your taste.

In the meantime, place pasta in a large bowl and add the sauce. Add a few sprigs of thyme and parsley on top and serve with a side, I prefer organic sourdough bread.

and there you have it! This is delicious on any type of day, any time of year.

Blessings!